Evil on the Horizon
by Chirko
Summary: Set near the begining of Season 7. Old Scoobies are called back to Sunnydale warned of an impending evil. Oz, Angel, Cordy and Giles join with Buffy and her gang to stop the final apocalypse.
1. Ladies of the Evening

Disclaimer: The characters, settings, ideas, and events that have appeared on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belong to Twentieth Century Fox, courtesy of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
Character Note: Ok, first off, Buffy Season 7 spoilers and Angel season 4 spoilers. Now this is going to be a bit jumbly. The Scoobies are all as they are in the season 7. Buffy works at the school, Willow is back, Spike is in the school basement, Xander is still doing the good ole construction job, Anya has just had her demon privileges revoked by D'Hoffryn and is pissed off royally about Hallie, Dawn is still Miss. School Girl. Forget all that stuff about 'from beneath it devours', and the whole shape shifting evil, didn't happen damnit! Now with the Angel team I'm going to screw around a bit. Angel normal, Cordy is back, and has her memory (and she still fancies Angel, as he does her, none of this weirdo Connor fling (can you say gross?)), Connor is being the twit that he is, Fred and Gunn and the same, as is Lorne, and Wes, and FAITH (yes she will be back, but I have a small role in this little story).  
  
Ladies of the evening  
  
Sunnydale  
  
"Shh…!"  
"But…"  
"I said shh!"  
"But…"  
The vampire looked over to where they were hiding and froze. Buffy walked out from behind the bushes and smiled.  
"Welcome to the Double Beat on your ass Palace, can I take your order?"  
Without a word the vampire jumped at her, fangs glistening in the moonlight. Buffy back flipped, kicking him in the face with both her feet. The vampire went sprawling back, but quickly regained balance and began to come towards her again. Buffy pulled out a stake that had been tucked in her belt and threw it at him, piercing his heart. As he turned to dust she smiled and said "Good ole slayer aim, never fails."  
She walked up to the bush and pulled Dawn out.  
"See Dawn, when I say Shh, it means you don't talk, it's enforced by me pursing my lips and making the universally recognized noise for shut up."  
"But…"  
Buffy rolled her eyes and asked "What?"  
"Well you haven't taken me training for ages, and I came along tonight to train and you keep staking all the vampires. I mean, hello, I am not your personal cheerleader, I want to learn how to fight."  
"But you can spell so good! Give me a B!"  
Dawn looked daggers at her sister and walked past her, making way for home. As Buffy caught up she began explaining.  
"Dawn, training isn't just about killing demons, it's about observing the movements of your opponents. Vampires practically all fight the same way. Also, I was trying to show you how to be all ninja quiet. Surprising your enemy can sometimes away the battle in your favor. It kind of didn't work seeing as you were all Miss. Verbal Runny Poo."  
"All right! I geddit!"  
"Good." Buffy replied, smiling brightly as she opened the door to their house and entered.  
"How did patrolling go? Did Dawnie kick some demon ass with some freaky new slayer moves?" Willow said, as she came down the stairs.  
"No, I got to watch my sister being all boring and kill things." Dawn replied as she slumped on the couch and pouted.  
"You'll be killing things too! Soon! I'm sure you will! Demons beware here comes Dawn the killing machine!"  
"Somehow, that name evokes images of my head on Rambo's body. It's not looking too good there Will."  
"Yeah, I'm not into muscley girls either, they creep me out, with their pumped massive bodies, and muscley legs, and, ewww gross." Willow shuddered and entered the kitchen. "Dawnie's a bit put out there Buffy."  
"I know. I know it was my idea to start training her, but when I was her age, I wasn't killing vampi…wait…yes I was. I mean the point is, I want to teach her these things, but I don't want to rush it. We have plenty of time…unless we have an apocalypse coming up soon. Check the calendar."  
  
**London**  
  
"What will be coming?"  
"We do not know yet…"  
"How can you be sure?"  
"It was prophesized that once the slayer had died and been resurrected and Proserpexa's temple had been unearthed near the hell mouth something of great danger will be coming…."  
"How can it be stopped?  
"I am not sure..."  
"This meeting of the Council is over, find everything you can about these prophesies and try to find out what we will be facing…"  
  
**Sunnydale**  
  
"…so then he calls me a retard and I turned around and kicked him the balls."  
"Lauren, look I know what it's like when people make fun of you, tease you and all that, but you can't go around and ruin their chances for reproduction." Buffy replied to the teenage girl in front of her.  
"Well what am I supposed to do then?" The girl said looking at Buffy intently.  
"Look, next time he calls you something, just tell him…" Buffy looked around and leaned in forward and whispered, "just tell him that you can always finish off his chances of continuing the family line…just say it quietly, and make sure no teachers are around…" Buffy grinned evilly. The girl laughed and stood up.  
'Thank you Miss Summers." She left the room and Buffy returned to playing with her electric pencil sharpener. She organised her immaculately sharpened pencils on her desk and swung round to her computer. Starting a game of Solitaire, she began clicking away at the cards. "Stupid game, doesn't even recognize the Slayer when it sees one. I'm the best here... killing vamps and squicky demons... no! I needed that card! How do you make it go backwards?! Damnit! I hate technology. Wish they still sold real cards; I know how to play with those." She muttered. 'At least this computer only hates me. Imagine if a computer was constantly trying to get into your pants. Would a computer even fit down there?' Buffy stopped her small, and ever so slow, train of thought to look around her. Stopping suddenly, she shook her head and said, "No, I better not try. Who knows who might walk in? And how would I explain that one? It's not like I'm invisible. The computer can't pretend its doing push-ups or anything." Buffys thoughts began to drift. She never thought that she would be bored at her job, but no one was coming. She thought of Dawn, in class, being all studenty, and Willow, at home, meditating, and Spike being all crazy in the basement, and Xander…hang on…Spike! She began to wonder about Spike sitting there, all alone in the basement. She wanted to see how he was, just to look in on him. Even though she had convinced herself it was over, she still longed for him. The old Spike. The sane Spike. She stood up and made her way to the basement. When she arrived at the door she looked around to see if anyone was watching and went down.  
"Incy wincy spider went up the water spout…" Spike sang softly, rocking back and forth against the wall. Buffy looked at him with pity. The dingy basement smelt of moldy stale air. The light was casting an eerie atmosphere, and it was illuminating half of Spike's face, making it seem like he was in the midst of an inner struggle. Why did he have to be crazy? He had his soul back and now he's flying over the cuckoo's nest. She walked up to him and kneeled down. Spike continued singing, trying to avoid her gaze. He stopped abruptly and looked at her. "I did bad things. Bad things to the girl. Spike was bad. The girl was hurt. Spike hurt the girl. I…" Buffy leaned forward and softly kissed his lips. There was no thought behind it. Just passion. Just love for another being, that had been through so much with her. He stopped rambling on and closed him eyes. After a while she stopped and stood up. Spike looked up at her and said, "Thank you."  
  
*****  
  
Xander looked over at Willow. "Excuse me?!?"  
"Oh come on Xander, you know it's true."  
"I'm speechless. It has now become impossible for me to construct a simple sentence."  
"Stop being so dramatic."  
"How could you say that?"  
Buffy walked in with Dawn. "What did she say?"  
"That Wolverine could easily be defeated by The Hulk."  
"And you are arguing about something only teenagers with no social skills read because…?"  
"I don't believe it! Et Tu Buffy?" Xander clutched his chest and pretended to die.  
Willow whispered in Buffy's ear "I just wanted to get him worked up. Xander goes all red in the face and cute with the huffiness and the puffiness."  
Buffy grinned as she opened the microwave over and placed the bag of popcorn in it. "So what movie are we going to watch? We've got Sweet Home Alabama or Nightmare on Elm Street Part 1."  
Xander shuddered "I'm sorry but bad story lines, horrible acting and the blood and gore, I'm not in the mood, let's watch Nightmare on Elm Street."  
Dawn looked at him puzzled. "Where's the blood and gore in Sweet Home Alabama?"  
"It's coming out of my ears as I hear that Avril Lavigne song sequence."  
Dawn, Xander and Willow made themselves comfortable on the couch as Buffy brought in the made popcorn.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy got up as the movie finished. Dawn and Willow were asleep and Xander was twiddling his thumbs, looking off into space. "Freddy didn't scare you I see?"  
"Well when you have the first slayer following you in your dreams and killing you, the scariness of Freddy is kind of a let down." He picked up the video case and whispered, "I'm sorry old friend…" He lay it back down and stretched out. "Time for me to head off home, get some sleep, maybe even watch a bit of the home shopping network, or some Springer, or maybe even some Playb…"  
"Xander! Your thoughts haven't changed since the whole me reading minds thing have they?"  
He grinned sheepishly.  
"So you heading off to bed now?"  
"Nope, I think I'm going to patrol. It's better without Dawn announcing our arrival to every single demon we come across."  
"Ah, well, can I walk you down to my car?"  
"Why yes you can, I'll just grab some gear."  
  
*****  
  
Buffy scanned the area. She had just dusted three vampires, and was getting bored. She began to walk towards the cemetery exit when she heard some harsh rasping coming from somewhere behind her. She quickly spun around and gasped. In front of her was on the largest vampires she had ever seen. He was close to seven foot, covered in blood, and covering the left part of his chest was a…"Bet you've never seen one of these before, have you girly?"  
"A thick metal plate? Who's your plastic surgeon? I so won't ever go to HIM for corrective surgery."  
"It's not just any metal plate girly, this is a titanium steel plate. Nothing will pierce it…Slayer." He said the last part with a hellish grin on his face.  
"Oh, how do you know who I am? Did we meet at a party? Coz I would remember meeting someone who looks like an advertisement for contraception."  
He lunged forward and grabbed her. Her face was very close to his, and she could smell the sweat and blood all over him. She tried wriggling out of his arms, but his grasp was too strong, and it was tightening. Doing the only thing she could think of, she kicked him in the groin. Straight away he dropped her. She rolled away and stood up. "Thank God you don't have a metal plate there, coz that would just be weird."  
He stood up and Buffy looked at him, trying to think of a way to defeat him. There was no way brute force would defeat this vampire. He was too strong, and she wouldn't be able to keep kicking him in the 'sensitive area' all night. She needed to dust him. But he had that stupid metal plate that couldn't be pierced. Then it hit her. She ran towards him. His shock at her coming towards him stopped him from reacting quickly enough. Her fingers grabbed the metal plate and dug into his skin. She grabbed a hold and pulled away, revealing bloody muscles and flesh. She threw the plate away like a Frisbee and stabbed him in the heart with her stake.  
"Ewwwwww I've got icky skin under my nails. Stupid vampire. Now I need some serious nail work done."  
  
**A bar in Chicago**  
  
Oz drank his beer and stared at the wall. He yawned and decided that it was time for him to head home. He left some money on the bar and walked out. As he made his way along the building he noticed a Muriel of a beautiful woman, dressed in Green. He stood still and looked at her intently. Suddenly a slight wind began to gather and the woman's hair and dress began to shimmer. Oz smiled. "Cool trick."  
"Daniel, I have come to give direction to you, so that you may fulfill your role…"  
"Okay…" Oz replied looking at the woman on the wall skeptically.  
The woman on the wall crossed her arms and scowled "At least be a little enthusiastic. A little "yes oh mysterious lady" would be nice, jeez, way to ruin the atmosphere…"  
Oz shrugged "I'm not an enthusiastic kind of guy."  
"FINE! Go back to Sunnydale, there's your message." And she vanished.  
Oz shrugged and made his way to his apartment to pack, contemplating whether mysterious forces also suffered from PMS. 


	2. How much is that Doggy in the window?

Disclaimer: The characters, settings, ideas, and events that have appeared on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belong to Twentieth Century Fox, courtesy of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
How much is that doggy in the window?   
  
The trees were being delicately swayed by the wind as sunlight filtered through the canopy. Dawn was quietly humming to herself with her book under arm. She had begun to read at the park, away from the hustle and bustle of the Summers household. She turned the corner and right in front of her was…   
"Oh my GOD!" she squealed "PUPPY!"   
Dawn knelt down and stroked the tiny light brown puppy.   
"You are soooooooooooo adorable! Where's your owner? Are they around here somewhere?"   
Dawn looked around the empty street. She shrugged slightly, turning her attention back to the pooch at her feet. He tilted his head and whined a little. Dawn felt her heart skip.  
'So cute!' she thought. 'Who would leave a little puppy all alone like this?' Oh well," she said with a happy smile. "I guess I'll have to take you with me. Buffy is going to freak! She loves little adorable puppies!"   
She scooped up the puppy into her arms and began to head home. Suddenly she felt a warm, wet sensation quickly spreading on her front. She looked down and shuddered.   
"Cuteness factor is so declining."   
  
*****   
  
The scream pierced the air like a knife.   
"He is soooooooooooo cute!" Buffy said. Dawn nodded enthusiastically, trying to get a hand in to pet the puppy. Her attempts were thwarted though by the cuteness-obsessed slayer. Dawn hugged her bruised hands to her chest, and finished telling about how she found the puppy.   
"I know! He was all alone on the sidewalk so I brought him here, coz he looked alone and cute and then he peed on me…" Dawn showed Buffy her sweater.   
"Is that MY sweater?" Buffy's expression quickly changed from one of adoration to one of murderous rage at the fact that her sweater now ready to be a dishrag. After all, it was her new pink sweater she had just bought, and it went so well with her jeans.   
"…I'll go change." Dawn replied quickly after seeing the 'look' being thrown at her and ran up the stairs before Buffy had time to comment any further.   
Buffy rolled her eyes and kneeled down to pet the puppy. As she reached over the puppy began to growl and bare his teeth. Buffy drew her hand away hurriedly and looked at him.   
"Don't you go all growly face on ME mister! I've heard scarier growls come from a newborn vam... oh, do it again, that was sooo cute!"   
Willow walked in and looked down at Buffy. The slayer was crouching on the floor, her hands busy in front of her. If Willow didn't know better, she'd think something bad was happening. But then Buffy turned slightly and,   
"Oh! Puppy!"   
  
*****   
  
Xander was sitting on the couch and rubbing the puppy's ears.   
"So Dawn just found him on the street?"   
"Yep."   
"So what are you guys going to do with it?"   
Buffy stopped sharpening her stake and said, "Well if no one claims it, we might keep it."   
"But what about costs? Dogs don't stay like this forever. They get big and doggy and they eat a lot and they poop, and you'll have to pick up the poop. It's not all daisies and sunshine Buff. There will be poop to pick up."   
"We'll just use the poop to fertilize the daises." Buffy said sardonically. She turned back to her stake, humming a small tune.   
As Willow and Xander continued talking the puppy opened it's eye, which began to burn a bright red, before it quickly closed it and continued to enjoy getting its ears rubbed.   
  
*****   
  
Buffy squeezed the plastic dog toy. "And this one."   
"Buffy, we have 7 other squishy toys already in the basket." Dawn said, looking at Buffy.   
"But this one is a steak! We need a steak, and a bone, and a sausage…" Buffy replied, sifting through the contents of the basket.   
"Ok, fine."   
They went around the shop, picking out a lead, a basket and various other accessories. The basket caused some problems. Well, actually, everything caused some problems. But the basket problem was the biggest. "We HAVE to get a wicker basket. They're all the rage with puppy people!" Buffy had exclaimed. Stupid Xander wanted to get a normal basket with no wicker in site. Buffy felt the urge to introduce Xanders face to the back of her hand, but then reminded herself that he was one of her best friends. "But Buff, this basket is cheaper, and it'll be softer for the puppy." He had argued. He really did not see the point in getting a basket for purely aesthetic reasons. But then, he had wanted to get a black leash, when the dark maroon so clearly matched his fur better. She had reluctantly given in to just getting plain plastic food and water bowls (He does NOT need metal engraved water bowls Buffy!), but the world be damned if she wasn't going to get her wicker basket.   
Finally, with the shopping trolley filled to the brim, and with Buffy the only one still smiling, they made it to the cash register. Dawn was trying not to show how utterly bored she was, and Xander was trying to put back as many items as he could before they got on the counter. Willow was standing a little way back. She was stilling thinking of plans for the magical collar she had been allowed to plan and make for the newest Scooby. 'Silver', she decided, 'And blessed with holy water. The little guy is so defenseless, he'll need all the protection he can get.'  
The girl behind the counter was looking warily at the strange group, but didn't complain. The store had just bought in a new policy were you got an added extra on your pay packet when you made high priced sales. She could practically see the money dripping into her bank account now.   
"That'll be $749.99." The cashier said.   
Xander dropped the $14.99 chew toy he was holding and looked at the girl with a scandalized expression on his face. Dawn suddenly looked more interested, and Willow had nearly passed out from shock.  
Buffy, however, looked calm and simply stared at her. She suddenly piped up with. "Charge it to the Sunnydale High account."   
"Buffy!" Dawn hissed.   
"It's for the new school mascot." Buffy said, as she stepped on Dawns toe and smiled at the lady.   
  
*****   
  
"DAWN!" Buffy yelled, leaning on the banister and looking at the top of the stairs.   
"WHAT!?" Dawn replied.   
"Scrappy pooped on the carpet AGAIN!"   
Everyone had thought it was cute to name the newest Scooby after the youngest puppy from the famous show. However, the damn thing pooped more than the entire population of Sunnydale, and cutting back on the 'Scooby Snacks' wasn't helping.  
Dawn ran down the stairs and stopped on the last step. She looked down at the brown sloppy patch that was smeared all over the carpet in the hall.   
"Ewww, what do you keep feeding that dog Buffy?"   
Buffy glared at Dawn as if she was a vampire about to be staked.   
"Take him outside while I clean this up."   
Dawn gingerly led the puppy out but his magical collar and closed the door behind her. She was thanking all the Goddesses she knew for Willows awesome design. There was no way Buffy could stake him, no matter how hard she tried. It was a 'staked-by-angry-slayer' proof. That didn't mean that Buffy didn't threaten to rip the damn thing off and stake him none the less.  
"Stupid puppy, pooping on MY carpet. I've stopped the apocalypse so many times and it all leads down to cleaning up after a puppy that has more bowel movements than the population of a retirement village COMBINED…" Buffy muttered as she sprayed disinfectant all over the goop and shivered. Noticing that the disinfectant was coming out in small streams she unscrewed the sprayer and poured it all out over the mess. She opened the door and yelled "DAWN! I'm going to the store, we ran out of disinfectant!"   
  
*****   
  
Dawn led the puppy back inside after hearing her sister yell, and tip toed her way around the brown substance. She wrinkled up her nose as she walked past it, and tried very hard not to breathe too much of the smell in. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Flicking through the TV guide after picking up the puppy, she sat him down next to her and turned on the TV. As the 6 O'clock news came on she heard a deep growl coming from the puppy next to her. She looked over at him and began to scream.   
  
*****   
  
Willow walked up the path leading to the house when she heard it. A high-pitched scream that could only belong to one person. She bolted up the steps and opened the door. She gasped at the scene in front of her. Dawn was backed up against the wall and coming towards her was the biggest beast of a dog she had ever seen. "BACK!" Willow screamed flinging her hand at the direction of the dog, causing it to sprawl against the far wall. Dawn was shaking, and mumbling about the dogs collar. As she ran over to Willow, the red haired witched shouted "Release" in the dogs general direction, catching the flying collar as it came towards her. Together, with collar in hand, the two made for the stairs. As they reached the top of the stairs they could hear the beast coming after them. They ran into Dawns room and locked the door. Breathing hard, Dawn rushed to her desk, trying to drag it in front of the door. Willow shook her head, and looked at the door. "Fortificus." She muttered below her breath.  
The door glowed with a pale gray light and turned to rock. "That should hold it until Buffy gets here." She said as they heard the large claws of the beast scratch down the center of the door.   
  
*****   
  
Buffy opened the door and was met by a large beast running towards her.   
"Scrappy?" She said looking shocked.   
The dog jumped onto her, pushing her out the door and onto the lawn.   
Buffy pushed him off and jumped up.   
"You pee on my sweater, you poop on my carpet and now you're trying to kill me! Bad Dog!" She gave the beast a quick glance over. His paws were covered in blood and claws were missing. She could only hope that the blood was his own. She also noticed that his collar had been removed. 'I can stake him!', she thought gleefully.   
She kicked it in the face and it went sprawling back. It lunged towards her as she spun around and kicked it in the side of its head. Buffy flipped around over the dog and grabbed it by its neck, snapping it. As the dead body slumped on the ground it glowed red and disappeared. Buffy wiped her hands on her pants, and looked around for her sister. Not finding her in the lounge or the dinning room, she was about to venture upstairs when she heard the phone ringing in the kitchen. She walked through quickly and picked up the receiver.  
"Dawnie?!"  
"Buffy?"   
"Giles!"   
"Buffy, Ethan Raine sent you a…present, in the shape of a puppy, be caref…"   
"Yes I know, he pooped on my carpet, and then became all demoney, I mean where is the consideration? Why didn't he just turn into a demon first, then I wouldn't have to clean up after him. So not happy. Have Willow or Dawn called you?"   
"No, ah…they haven't. But… ah…yes, well, we have Ethan here, the Council is holding him."   
"Yeah, well, evil doggy is dead." Buffy said happily.   
"Very good. I also rang to tell you some news…" Giles interrupted quickly.  
"What? I'll be receiving a goldfish that turns into a shark man?" Buffy asked with sarcasm loaded into every syllable.   
"No…" Giles said slowly, "I'll be coming back to Sunnydale. There is something happening."   
"Oh so the fact that you miss us has nothing to do with it?" The slayer quipped, bouncing on her feet. 'Giles is coming back!' she thought happily.  
"Yes, well…I'll be there in a few days. Say hello to Dawn and Willow and Xander for me." And he hung up.   
'Say hello to Dawn and Willow and Xan… Dawnie!'  
The young woman ran quickly to the stairs, yelling for her sister the entire way.   
*****   
  
"I told you having a dog would be hard." Xander said, picking the ju- jubes out of his bowl of ice cream.   
"No, you said poop would be an issue, and even though it was, Scrappy turning into an evil hell hound doggy thing wasn't one of them." Buffy answered, trying very carefully to sneak Xanders ju-jubes into her bowl. The slayer couldn't get enough of that ju-juby goodness. However, Dawn couldn't either, and there was a small battle brewing as the two Summers' girls fought for the chewy candies. Willow shook her head, and subtly magicked up some extra ju-jubes for the two.   
There was a knock at the door and Willow stood up. "I'll get it." she got up and walked towards the door, pretending not to notice as Buffy stole an entire scoop from the young witches bowl.   
Shaking her head again, she opened the door and gasped loudly.  
"Hey there little lady."   
"OZ!" Willow squealed and flung her arms around him. He swayed back under the force of the tiny girl and grinned.   
"Quite a home coming." 


	3. That Weird Feeling

Disclaimer: The characters, settings, ideas, and events that have appeared on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belong to Twentieth Century Fox, courtesy of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
That weird feeling   
  
The silence in the graveyard was so think it could have been sliced with a knife. Buffy scanned her surroundings and gripped her stake tightly. She knew there was a newly risen vamp out on the prowl, and she was ready to kick its ass.   
The only problem was that she had to find it. She knelt down and focused on her hearing. Where was he, damn it? Her head swung around quickly to her left. She could hear rustling in the small undergrowth surrounding the cemetery. Rustling meant that something was there.  
Cursing once again the bright spark who decided to plant so much foliage in the area, she stared at the moving leaves and stood up. She quietly made her way up to the bushes and plunged the stake into the thicket. The vampire let out a small groan before he burst into dust. A hand gripped her shoulder and she spun around.   
"XANDER!" Buffy yelled, holding the stake an inch from his chest.   
"WHOA! Don't tell me we're going through THAT phase again?"   
"Sorry…DON'T DO THAT!" Buffy screeched punching Xander's shoulder with a bit of slayer force behind it.   
"OW!" Xander clutched his shoulder and looked around.   
"Anymore vamps?" he asked, still holding his bruised shoulder.  
"Nope, I got around three tonight, I think it's time to head home and make for bed." Buffy replied, pushing her stake into the waist band of her pants.   
"Quite a good idea. I'll walk you home, I need to talk to you about something." Xander nodded, twisting his head, indicating to Buffy to take the lead.  
"Shoot." Buffy replied as they made their way out of the graveyard and headed for her house.   
"Well, it's about Spike." He began carefully. "I don't feel comfortable with him being in the school basement. I mean I know he has a soul, but the craziness kind of dilutes the trust."   
"I know Xander, but what am I supposed to do. He's good now. He may be crazy, but…look, we'll figure it all out when Giles gets here... He'll know what to d…" Her sentence was broken off as she was jumped on from above by a large demon. Xander jumped backwards, and watched in horror, unsure of what to do.  
The demon knocked the slayer to the ground, but she quickly jumped up and assumed a fighting stance.   
"Oh, and this night was heading towards being a letdown concerning the slayer factor." she quipped smartly.  
The demon stood up straight and its 7 eyes focused on Buffy. It was tall, lean and had a red skin tone that made it look like it was made out of bloody red marble. Four horns protruded from its head. Two smaller ones at the front and two massive ones from the back. It lunged towards Buffy but she sidestepped and it grabbed Xander by mistake.   
Buffy let out a yell of vengeance as the demon dared to touch her friend. She grabbed its arm, prepared to tell it off severely before kicking its ass, but as soon as she touched that red marble skin, she could feel a burning electrical sensation through out her own body, and considering Xander's scream, he was going through the same thing.   
Buffy gathered enough strength to punch the demon in the face. It fell back, and let go of the two friends. Buffy grabbed for the dagger that she had strapped to her leg. She thrust down sharply with the dagger, sliding it home between the demons rib cage. Giving a final shudder, she watched as the thing died.   
Pulling the dagger free, she wiped the blood off it and onto her pant leg. Holding a hand out, she helped Xander get up. He leaned on her slightly and muttered, "Wow, I'm all tingly."   
Buffy nodded and said, "Yea, I know what you mean." as she lead the two of them home.   
*****   
  
Buffy woke up and yawned. She stretched out her arms and massaged the back of her head. But her hair… it was short. Her first thought was 'MY HAIR HAS BEEN CUT!' The phone rang. Buffy, disorientated, quickly picked it up.   
"Hello?" She said, then paused, starting slightly. Since when did she have a manly voice?   
"Xander, sorry about calling on a Saturday, but we need to know what's happening with the plans for the swimming pool at Sunnydale High." the caller said in a rushed voice.   
"What?" Buffy replied, again noticing that her voice sounded like Xander's.   
"The plans. For the pool."   
"Uh, you hav rech-ed Ming Chow's Chinese resteraun, you want kit-tie wif fly lie?" Buffy quickly said, putting on her best Asian accent, which for some reason came out sounding like she was chocking on an enormous bread stick. Knowing that he would leave her alone if she offered him a house trained pet as food, she was relieved with his reply:   
"Oh, sorry, wrong number." The person said quickly, and hung up.   
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." Buffy muttered in a low voice. "Oh Jesus. What the hell is going on?"  
  
*****   
  
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." Xander said as he stood in front of the mirror, and saw Buffy looking back at him.   
"I have now officially become crazy. Stupid demons, stupid apocalypses. I have turned senile before my 60th birthday."   
A knock came at the door shocking Xander out of his observations.  
"Buffy? Can I come in?" Xander heard Dawn say.   
"Uh no. I have…small pox." he said quickly, hating the squeak that his female voice gave. He could have sworn he passed that stage in the last year of high school. Apparently, with senility came stupid squeaky voice - ity.  
"Small pox? Isn't that, like, extinct?" Dawn replied through the door. He could practically see her out there wit her hands on her hips, and her foot tapping with irritation.  
"Uh…yes, but I met a small pox demon last night…and it leaked all this gross yellow and green puss on me, and now I have it." Xander improvised, twisting his fingers in the hem of Buffy's night shirt.  
"EWW!" Dawn exclaimed loudly. Steps were heard as the young girl rushed rapidly away from the door. "Buffy, stay there. Don't move. I'll go get Willow."   
Xander could hear the footsteps fade down the hall and let out a sigh. What the hell was he going to do? Was he crazy? Coz if so…hey, he had boobs to grope. And they were Buffy's boobs, no less. His reflection gave a little smile, and Xander felt slightly better about the situation.  
  
*****   
  
"Willow, oh my god, something's happened!"   
"Xander? What?" Willow said holding the door open, looking at Xander standing in on the front porch.   
"It's not me. I mean it IS me, just not Xander me, it's Buffy me."   
"…what?" Willow looked at the young man in shock. "Xander, have you been eating pixie stiks again? Because you know…"  
"No Will, it's me, Buffy, in Xander's body." Buffy said, interrupting the young witch.  
"WHAT!? How?…WHAT!?"   
Buffy looked at Willow through Xander's eyes.   
"Xander and I got attacked by a demon last night that did a weird electrical thingy and now I'm in Xander's body." Buffy said in a rushed voice, pleading with her eyes for Willow to believe her.   
"So that's Xander in your room, looking like you?"   
"Yes. He's probably in shock." Willow gave a small grin and held the door open. Giggling slightly, she said "Well, let's go check on the young man then shall we?"   
They ran up stairs and opened the door to Buffy's room. Willow froze, her eyes bugging out slightly at the sight in front of her. Unfortunately for Xander, Buffy just kept on moving.  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Buffy screamed.   
Xander let go of the nightshirt quickly and looked up with a guilty expression on his face.  
"What?" he asked, trying desperately not to blush. Blushing was such a girly thing to do after all.  
"You were checking out my boobs! My shirt was up, and your eyes were on my boobs!"   
"Well, technically they're not YOUR bo…"   
"XANDER!"   
"OK! I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I mean they were there, ya know?" he muttered, throwing his arms in the air and pouting slightly.  
Willow looked from one to the other with a slight grin on her face, which she quickly wiped off as Buffy was looking at her, with hells fury in her eyes. Willow coughed and tried to look sternly at the young lady in front of her.  
"Buff… Xander. No more looking at your own… HER boobs. We have some research to do. Let's go troops." And with that, the young Wicca turned and left, allowing the stupid grin on her face to shine through once more. This was just too good to believe. Much better than that small pox story Xander tried to pull off on Dawnie.  
  
*****   
  
Oz knocked on the front door and waited. He had no idea why, but being back in Sunnydale just brought back the light. He knew Willow had gone to bat for the other team, but it no longer made him angry. He was a mellowed guy who loved a witch…but was no longer in love with her.   
He smiled slightly as he came to the conclusion that, in truth, he was ok with just being friends. He no longer wanted more from Willow, because that which she was already giving him was enough. The door swung open and Willow grinned.   
"Hey there Oz, come in, we have a bit of a…situation."   
"Apocalypse?" Oz replied in his passive voice.   
"Nope, kind of a bit more…weird."   
"Weird? Sounds like something to pass the time."   
Willow closed the door behind him and they walked together into the lounge room where Buffy, Xander and Dawn were sitting.   
"Hey guys."   
"Hey." Everyone replied synonymously.   
"So what's happened?" Oz asked, looking around the room.   
"Well…" Xander began "Me and Xander were attacked by a demon last night." Oz, who usually could hold a serious face forever, stared at Xander in disbelief. Xander had quite obviously gone mad. Willow, noticing this said,   
"Oh, no, that's Buffy, not Xander." Pointing at Xander. They had all gone crazy. Wow, a lot had changed in Sunnydale since he had left. Oz smiled nervously and began looking for an escape route, as living in LA had taught him that craziness usually led to homicidal rage. Willow sighed and grabbed Oz's hand.   
"Look, Buffy is in Xander's body and Xander is in Buffy's body. There's been a mind switch." Oz sighed with relief and looked at his hands, trying to think of what to say next.   
"Ok, well what do we do about it?" He said looking up at Willow. As their eyes met, he could feel the pain she was going through. He knew she would have to use magic to reverse the effects, and he knew that she was deathly scared of going vein-ey.   
They had talked about what happened a few months before, when Tara had died. He knew she had been sent to England, under Giles' care to learn to control her powers. He held her hand and mouthed the words 'I trust you'. A tear formed at the corner of Willow's eye, and it slid down her cheek.   
Buffy watched the small interchange with a smile on his lips. Standing, and tugging on the bright shirt that he had found to wear, he said loudly "Well it's time to go into research mode."   
  
*****   
  
"Ooo! I got it! It's a Verder demon!" Dawn exclaimed, looking up at everyone proudly. The others in the room turned to look at the teenager, waiting for her to read out what she had found.  
"It switches people's minds using a electro magnetic shock, that magically transfers one person electro-magnetic brain activity to another's and vice versa."   
"Right…" Buffy replied, the knowing look on his face seeming strangely out of place. "So how do we undo this Vader's weird mojo working?"   
"Verder." Dawn said sternly.   
"That's what I said." Buffy replied defensively.   
Dawn looked back at the book and replied.   
"Well, it says here that in order to reverse the process, we need the blood of the demon, an Orb of Arathak Friedyz, and a witch has to perform the ritual." She looked up at Willow as she said the last bit, seeing the small cringe on the red heads face.  
"Where do we get a crystal of Aretha Frankiln?" Buffy asked.   
"Arathak Friedyz." Dawn said, grinning. She knew quite well how to push Buffy's buttons.   
Buffy rolled his eyes and looked at Willow. He could see Willow's hesitation in using her magical powers.   
"Will…?" Buffy asked cautiously.   
"Uh, well, I'll call Anya, she could know how to get one, seeing as she owned the Magic Shop, and the blood of the demon, well we need to find another one somewhere."   
"Ok," Buffy replied, "I'll go patrol and look for the demon, while you guys take care of the rest."   
"Wait, Xan… Buffy. Do you still have your slayer powers." Willow asked carefully. "I mean, you're in Xander's body now, not your own. And he doesn't have any major demon fighting powers."   
"Hay!" Xander exclaimed, her blond head shaking at the red haired witch. "I resent that remark!"   
Buffy smirked, and looked down at herself. "Don't worry Will. I tried it out at Xander's place. I still have them. Oh, and Xander?" she said before turning for the door. "That's an impressive ah… comic… collection you have under your bed."  
  
*****   
  
Buffy walked through the trees, looking for a hole in the ground. Dawn had read up on the demon, and found out that they live in woods, in burrows, much like moles. "Or hobbits!" Buffy shook her head at the memory of a hobbit happy Dawn, and kept on looking. As Buffy came to a big rock, he fell into what he had been looking for.   
A large hole, hidden from view by the trees and rocks surrounding it. Any tramper or hiker could fall in this way, without knowing the hole was there. After all, the demons had to get their food somehow.   
  
*****   
  
Buffy looked around. It was a dimly lit cave that led down, deeper into the earth.   
"Well, at least the demon cliché of a dark, dank abode lives on." Buffy muttered.   
He made his way down and came to an open room. A green glow was illuminating the space. Buffy noticed that there were three weird sculptures that were coming out of the walls. He slowly walked up to one and noticed that it in fact, was one the demons he had been looking for.   
He took the axe from off her back and swung the blade cutting off its head. Surprised that it had been that easy, she smiled slightly.   
She stopped smiling, however, when the head began to wail. The two other demons began to stir.   
Buffy quickly collected the blood from the severed neck and prepared himself for battle against the two others. One jumped at him and he was flung back against the dirt wall. He sprung back, kicking it in the chest. As the second one came for him, he spun around and punched it with the back of his hand. No words were exchanged, but you could see from the looks on their faces that they were surprised that a mere mortal, and a man at that, was showing the skills of their best warriors.   
If they hadn't known better, they would have said he was the slayer. Demon two stumbled back and rammed into the first one. They both fell on the ground and Buffy raised the axe and brought it down, cleanly removing both their heads in one clean swipe. Wrenching the blade from the welt it had made in the stone floor, she patted the pocket with the blood in it, and began to climb the wall out of the cavern.  
  
*****   
  
Willow began to chant, and followed the instructions that were written in the book. Buffy and Xander were both sitting in outlined circles that were linked with a line of salt and various herbs that Willow has mixed, with the Orb of Artharak placed in the centre of the line.   
Willow was facing the rest of the group, Dawn especially, as she had requested a front row seat for this. Buffy was to Dawns right, and Xander to her left. Or at least, their minds were. The bodies were opposite to these directions. It was confusing as hell (Did she have a sister, or a brother now?) but Dawn was loving it.   
Xander put the weirdest expressions on her sisters face, and the dance he had tried to do earlier was hilarious. If Buffy had known what the man was doing in her body, she would have a fit. It was a good thing she was out when this had happened. It was also a good thing that Dawn had had the Summer family camcorder ready. The best proof is photographic evidence, after all.   
Grinning slightly, she watched as Willow reached the climax of the spell, and listened to a whooshing sound that could be heard. A blue light began to glow from Xander's body, and a green light from Buffy's. The two lights began to surround them both, like a force field that was attached to the circles they were sitting in. Both of the lights shrunk down and formed small orbs. They ran along the line of salt and herbs, from opposite ends, and met as they collided with the Orb of Artharak.   
They both exited from the Orb in opposite directions from that which they had entered and zoomed into the bodies of the two friends. The blue light flew straight for Xander's heart, while the green went straight for Buffy's head. Their eyes glowed a strange bright light, and the whooshing sound ended.   
They both opened their eyes and grinned, rolling shoulders, and peeping down shirt collars. A muffled 'Damn' could be heard from Xander, but was ignored in favour of listening to the outraged yell from Buffy. "You dressed me without any underwear?!" Dawn shouted with laughter, and even Oz had trouble keeping a straight face.   
Xander went bright red, and tried to splutter a response.   
Willow sighed with relief, watching her friends with a happy grin. The spell had been a success. She had not felt a tingle of evilness creeping over mind, and her friends' minds were occupying their correct bodies. The entire thing had worked perfectly. The Wiccan was incredibly happy.   
Suddenly, her Xander shaped friend lifted his head, his spluttering about the lack of Buffy's underwear ending sharply as his eyes narrowed in her direction. Shocked at the sudden change in him, Buffy and the rest of the group watched with no small amount of trepidation. Never had they seen him so serious looking. With a shout of, "Window! Brick!" Xander launched himself at the young woman whose body had recently occupied.   
Knocking her to the floor, Buffy was about to lay down a verbal assault when a brick flew threw the window, and landed directly where she had been sitting. Looking up through wide eyes at the man who had pushed her out of harms way, she joined the others in another rendition of 'Goldfish Theatre'. Xander stood up, looking slightly uncomfortable. The others stood up, still looking at him. Willow with shock, Dawn with awe, Oz with… an Oz like expression, and Anya with fury. About to yell at him for putting her precious Orb of Artharak in danger, she was cut off when Buffy asked, "What the hell was that Xander? How did you know that a brick was coming?" 


End file.
